When your business partner holds you back

I’d challenge you to consider whether you might have a toxic business partner. I don’t mean somebody who reports to you; I mean a peer who is consistently doing the wrong things, bringing negative energy, or coaching you in a way that isn’t helping to build you up and bring out your best work.”

Doug Phares, managing director, Silverwind Enterprises

In business, you’ll often have one or many partners. These can take many forms, including formal partnerships, employer-employee relationships, large peer work groups or even the C-suite. But even if you’re Bob Iger, I can assure that you partner with other individuals with whom you have a regular working relationship.

Early in my career, I found myself paired with a peer who made an excellent partner. There were four of us in this role, but he and I had the same manner of thinking. We ran similar divisions and were highly compatible, and he turned out to be one of the best business partners I ever had. While we had different skill sets, there was a lot of mutual respect, and we each found ways to leverage our differences to grow.

Most successful business relationships work this way. But things don’t always go so smoothly. In the blogosphere, you’ll often hear a lot of discussion about how you can get into a personal relationship with someone, only to realize that they were the wrong choice. Sometimes it can be difficult to escape these situations.

Business relationships can also have that aspect. I’d challenge you to consider whether you might have a toxic business partner. I don’t mean somebody who reports to you; I mean a peer who is consistently doing the wrong things, bringing negative energy, or coaching you in a way that isn’t helping to build you up and bring out your best work.

I recently realized that my toxic business partner is the clock. I write about time a lot, and it recently occurred to me that a lot of that interest is rooted in my own toxic relationship with it. What I’ve learned is that if I allow this business partner to talk to me about going faster or being more efficient or lambast me for not getting enough done, it will only create an anxiety spiral and lead to sub-optimal decision-making.

I’m not the only one who notices this. People I work with often notice when I’m pushing especially hard on something, and it’s almost always because my toxic business partner is in my ear. And the look I usually get in response is one that says, “Why are we making this a big deal right now?”

I’ve learned to be sensitive to that kind of response. It lets me know that I may be listening to the wrong voice right now and may need to rethink my motivation and consider listening to another voice instead.

Perhaps this particular example is an unconventional business partnership, but the core truth remains. If your partner isn’t adding to you or their influence is reductive, you may need to redefine or end your relationship with that person to be the best version of yourself.

Since I haven’t found a way to transcend time (yet), I can’t end my relationship with the clock. But I can redefine our relationship and be more selective when and if I choose to listen to that voice. I read and workshop a lot of ideas — some work, and some don’t. But I’ve grown enough to realize that if I can’t quell my toxic partner’s voice, then I’m not going to make my best decisions.

So, what’s your challenge, and how are you going to make sure that a toxic business partner isn’t holding you back from reaching your potential?

Doug Phares is the former CEO of the Sandusky News Group. He currently serves as managing director of Silverwind Enterprises, which owns and provides management services to small businesses. He can be reached at doug@silverwind.biz.